The Year of Glory!
Anno Domini 2013
The Deity, who was in fact not yet a Deity, made, in the beginning of this year His claim for Glory. He knew that the Gods had paved way for this year in particular to be the time of ascension. When He was still a mere mortal He strove to acquire a title to bear with pride in The Realm of Madness, The Misc. With an overwhelming majority the people of The Misc secured His ascent to being Latsbrah.
Even though the people of The Misc rejoiced in His ascent there were still those who would defy the will of the Gods with their malevolent intentions. The Heretics, however, was composed of the most beta and inglourious of individuals. With this knowledge He knew that the only just course of action was to commence an epic cut to truly gain the favour of the Gods and to forever silence those who would doubt Him.
In a flash of brilliance He offered thanks to the Gods by a lats spread of peace and prosperity.
One day at the temple He thought, in a moment of despair, that He had been cursed with a bad chest session. He later realised that the Gods who did not favour Him had sent him an illusion, in order to redress this injustice He pumped what soon was to become The Chest up and immortalized the moment.
As the cut commenced He become ever more glorious. And it was not only reflected in His physical perfection but also within the greatness of His mind as He, amongst all scholars, composed the best of the holy scripts. He had thus shown that the fervour utilized in the Temple might also with succes be used in the scholarly life.
As spring turned to summer His strength grew, He knew that the time of physical perfection finally was at hand. All the blood, sweat and tears, over the years, were finally come to pay off.
During the summer His powers continued to grow, now He had truly catched the eyes of the Gods. Alas, if He could truly gain their favour was still to be seen.
With this knowledge at hand He made a final push to secure His ascent.
At the height of the summer The Chest is named such, after a revelation.
The Elves was leaderless and shattered to the wind. Only one could unite them. And thus was the High King named!
During these days a holy prophet sent a dream to the Hero, He was soon to travel to a land to the south to secure His ascent. Knowing that all He ever wished for was within His grasp He gained an insane impetus. However, another epic event was to take place before that.
The Gods had finally decided to grant unto their favorite a day solely dedicated to the admiration of His glorious ways. At the height of the summer in the beating heart of the North, an estimated half a million onlookers stood and gazed in awe upon the perfection that stood before them. The Divine Hero of Madness and Testosterone had never imagined that He could ever sate His appetite for attention, in retrospect that day might just have been it.
A pose of thanks was of course in order to express the gratitude to the benevolence of the Gods of Hypertrophy.
Shortly after this momentous and turbulent time He commenced the journey that the holy prophet had spoken of. Legend had is that He would either return a Demi-God or not return at all.
With the favour of Thor, God of Thunder, and Odin, The Allfather, He returned in the form of a Divine Entity!
His triumph would be shortlived, however, because due to His physical perfection the Deity was exiled from the land by the jealous and blasphemous tyrants that held sway over the North. The Deity knew that the only place He would find refuge was in the last bastion of the Celts. With thoughts of home and shreddedness still upon His heart He left His homeland.
Upon arriving in the strange and distant land the first course of action for the Deity was to find a Temple in which He could pray for being even more muscular until next year. Cu Chulainn, the God-Hero of the Celts had long had His gaze upon the Deity and thus guided Him to the Truest of all Temples, The Jewel of Galway itself. With the aid of His Celtic brothers the Deity started to acquire pure mass and strength.
When all had descended down into a time of peace and plenty the Deity encountered a maiden so fair that even He was struck by her sheer beauty. Eros, who was also a great admirer of the Divinities physique could not stand idly by and let the Deity be unaffected. Thus Eros descended down from the heavens and took aim. The aim was true and the arrow struck the Deity straight into the heart.
The Deity contemplated the fate of His heart in addition to the daily admiration of The Hair, which to a large extent had come to surpass even His divine legs in epicness.
Soon enough the time had come for the Deity to return to the side of the Allfather. With His heart ripped out and left in the land of the Celts He prepared to make His return. The promise He gave to His Celtic brothers was to return in their greatest time of need.
The Deity returned to a cold land but was in spite of His distress determined to make a last push in order to acquire more strenght.
As the end of the year drew to a close He summoned all of His beloved and loyal True Friends to prepare themselves. For He had promised to lead them all to Epic deeds.
Thus He stands ready at the front of an army of the Truest to acquire as much glory as is possible. The Time of Glory draws nigh True Friends!